So I here I go again. Trying to lose the same 20/30 pounds that I can never quite get rid of…once I’m home anyway.

Sigh.

Okay so here we go.

Goal

To be 150lbs at the end of the 8 Weeks ta Better body Challenge Round 2

Plan

Exercise: Twice a day with 20 – 40 minutes worth of cardio in the morning combined with 30 – 60 minutes of weight training and abs. Add to that 60 – 90 minutes worth of cardio in the evenings.

Diet: 10 glasses of water a day and 25 – 30 grams of fiber a day. I’ve found I work best when I work on what to add to my diet and not what to take out.

Miscellaneous

Stress: Stress is a big factor with me. I’ve been in a perpetual spiral of nothing going right so I’m genuinely pretty stressed on a daily basis. I’ve learned that if I’m too stressed the weight just won’t come off, no mater how hard I try or how great I’m dieting.  So the key for me is to find a way to manage my stress so it doesn’t affect my weight loss.

Depression: I’m prone to depression. Fighting the blues is a daily battle with me. And if things are really bad I just don’t want to move. So, the key is to walk/run everyday regardless of mood.

Work/Life Balance: I’m a obsessed with my work. I’ll work ’round the clock and won’t take the time to stop and go work out. Since I’m a write it means I’m not moving much, so I definitely have to make myself back up from the computer and get to exercising AND remember to eat.

Food Diary: Like ms. Tracy said “If I bite it write it.” That’s the only way I’m going to really know what I’m eating and be able to make the necessary adjustments.

So that’s it. My weight loss plan and goal. I’m starting this challenge at 168.9lbs (don’t ask – it’s been a stressful couple of weeks) so I need to lose roughly 19lbs in 8 weeks to meet my goal. It’s definitely doable, but I will admit my will power is lacking so I’ve got an uphill battle to climb.

Let’s get it started.

Today is a new day. So what are you waiting for?

Hey All!

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving weekend! I took some “me” time, got mani’d and pedi’d and the hair did, and got a few things done around the house for Christmas! Didn’t do too bad on Turkey Day – managed to fry one up without burning down someone’s house or having to roll someone around in the grass……

I really would like to be funny tonite (or today, depending on when you are reading this), and I had a couple of ideas on what I would write, but something happened just a few hours ago that has kind of shaken me up .

I put a question to Nona earlier this week about being obsessed with the whole weight loss thing. I admit, I dwell on this subject more than I should, almost to the point to where it takes over most of my conversations. Nona informed me that she rarely brings the subject up herself, and that she uses her blog to vent and rant about the struggle. Sooo…I’m gonna take her lead and do that tonite.

For the month of November, I have been in all or nothing mode. I think with the weigh in being right after the holiday and me not reaching some of the goals that I had set for myself had put me in a tailspin. All that I have been able to think about is those numbers on the scale, what I they say now and what I would like them to say by weigh in. I planned what I was going to eat until then, when my period came and how I was going to deal with the excess bloat and how I was going to handle Thanksgiving.

The week of the holiday, I was on a downward slide, so I figured if I upped my water, and ate only when I was hungry I could get a good jump in before the next Tuesday. My only big meal was lunch. On Thanksgiving, I would only have that one good meal. Plus walking every nite, no matter how cold.

Well, it worked. I would have my flavoured coffee w/cream and a few macadamia nuts, a good lunch or a nice meal around five (nothing big after 7p) drink my 64oz of water, then go and do my power walk. Last Monday I was at 222 – this morning I weighed in at 217. I haven’t lost 5 lbs in a week since this whole thing started. And I admit, I felt great!! I finally had control over this thing…..

Control…remember this word, we will be coming back to it…

I took and extra vacation day to rest up from the weekend and get a few things done. I ran my mom to her doctor appointment, we did a little shopping and I started and completed a small painting project. I got ADHD, what can I say? Anyhoo, I looked up and realized that it was about 7:15 and I had not had any dinner or water. I had a small salad for lunch, and I was very hungry so I made some tuna salad and poured myself 20oz of water. By 7:45, I had eaten the salad and managed to drink all 64 oz of water. The water was no problem, it was the food that I was having trouble with. On Atkins, or any diet, you are advised to eat until satisfied, not stuffed. Because I was hungry, I was eating a bit more that I would have liked, but I noticed that I was trying to make do with two or three bites of food. I was equating the feeling of hunger and an empty stomach with the weight loss, when just the opposite is true. So I choked down a little more and finished off the rest of my allotted water.

Now, I usually go walking about an hour after my last meal. It was pretty late so I decided to do maybe a half hour on the stair stepper and call it good. That was before I got on the scale..

See, I am a scale junkie…I would say that I weigh myself 3-6 times a day. I use the scale to measure how much exercise, if any, that I would do that nite to either maintain my current weight or lose for the week. On a normal day of eating , if I weighed in before my walk, my weight would be up about 2 lbs.

When I weighed in tonite, the scale read 224 – seven pounds! I had a panic attack, my head literally swam. All that I could think about was how I blew it, how I shouldn’t have eaten that damn tuna (never mind that a gallon of water probably weighs 5lbs) and how I am not going to make my goal for the weigh in tomorrow. Then I looked in the mirror and something happened that made me almost get sick.

I didn’t like what I saw. You know how you look at circus mirrors and it’s all distorted? That’s how I looked. All that I could see was an old “before” image of me.

Well that did it – I bundled up and at 9:00 pm in 27 degree weather, I headed out for a four mile walk. Only, I didn’t walk. I felt crazy, just really anxious and the walk didn’t feel like it was doing any good. I still felt bloated, I felt bigger. So I started to run. Not jog, not fastwalk, but run – and run til I was out of breath. Then I would slow down, catch my breath and run some more. I probably was running two blocks and walking two blocks, something that I always wanted to be able to do at this point in my exercise training. And I tried to tell myself that I was finally getting to a new level, but I knew exactly what I was doing.

I was trying to control my body and get rid of this ugly feeling of failure that I had. A scale – an inanimate object – had me losing my mind. Look, I am far from being an anorexic, but I got a taste of what goes on and it scared me. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why it was so important to be at a certain weight or why I was being so competitive in the first place. Or why I was panicking.

So, I arrived home winded and confused, and immediately sat down and took a minute to count my blessings. My mom is in good health, my brothers are prosperous and have their right minds, I have great friends both here and in the blogosphere, I am gainfully employed and life overall is good and filled with God’s blessings.

So why can’t I get over the scale? I did weigh myself again – the running worked, down to 219. And I have told myself that I will be happy with whatever the scale says tomorrow – but I don’t know if I believe that…..

Til next time…..

Oh! Shout out to Nona! Glad you are feeling better! And to Dia at Runchilde, congrats on your recent loss! You will be on that motorcycle in no time!

YOU CAN DO IT!!

So today was a really bad day for me. When I say bad, I mean BAD. Anywho, I did what I normally do when I have a bad day…found something good to eat. This time…a pint of Blue Bell Cookies n’ Cream ice cream. Sigh. I’m a work in progress.

Breakfast – Kashi high fiber cereal with 2Tbs of raisins
Fiber – 12g
Water – 16oz

Water – 16oz

Lunch – Grilled chicken with medium apple
Fiber – 4g
Water – 16oz

Snack – Pint of Blue Bell Cookies n’ Cream ice cream
Fiber – 0g
Water – 16oz

Water – 16oz

Snack – Pecans and raisins trailmix
Fiber – 3g
Water – 16oz

Dinner – Grilled chicken with mushrooms, onion and carrots
Fiber – 12.3g
Water – 16oz

Total Fiber – 31.3
Total Water - 112oz
Exercise – 30 minutes walking/running
20 minutes on the treadmill
30 minutes weights

Today wasn’t the best day but I got all my fiber in and just barely made my water goal for the day.

Breakfast – Kashi Cereal with 2Tbs of raisins
Fiber – 12g
Water – 16oz

Snack – Large pear
Fiber – 4.5g
Water – 16oz

Snack – 1 6 pack of Oreo cookies
Fiber – 2g
Water – 0oz

Snack – Pecan and rasin trailmix
Fiber – 3g
Water – 0oz

Dinner 1 – Big N Tasty value meal with cheese from McDonalds
Fiber – 8g (Yeah really. No lie.)
Water – 8oz

Water – 8oz

Dinner 2 – Grilled chicken with sauteed mushrooms, onions and carrots
Fiber – 12.3g
Water – 16oz

Fiber – 39.8g
Water – 64oz
Exercise – 30 minute walk/jog
20 minutes on the treadmill
30 minute weights/abs

Food diaries are a great way to keep track of what you’re eating and keeps you honest about what you’re consuming and how much you’re consuming. I’ve been resisting FOREVER actually keeping a food diary. I thought it was hokey and unnecessary but it turns out it is a very handy way to keep me on track with attaining my goal of 25 – 30 grams of fiber a day and ultimately getting down to 140 pounds.

So I will keep a daily food diary until I reach my goal weight. Feel free to comment. Talk about keeping it honest…with the whole world watching and all.

Breakfast – 1 cup of Kashi high protein, high fiber cereal with raisins.
Fiber – 1 2g (including raisins)
Water – 16oz

Snack – 1 small apple
Fiber – 3.0
Water – 16oz

Lunch – Spinach salad with tomato, cucumber, carrots and oil and vinegar dressing.
Fiber – 5.6g
Water – 16oz

Snack – 1 large pear
Fiber – 4.5
Water – 8oz

Snack – 1 6 pack of Oreo cookies
Fiber – 2g (Really. Scouts honor)
Water – 8oz

Dinner – Veal with carrots and mushrooms
Fiber – 0g
Water – 16oz

Snack – 1 small apple
Fiber – 3.0g
Water 16oz

Total Fiber – 29g
Total Water – 96oz
Exercise – 30 minutes of walking/running
20 minutes on the treadmill
30 minutes of weights/abs